You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
