what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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