The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
