Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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