hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
