I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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