I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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