i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
