then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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