There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
