Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
