So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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