those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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