If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
