You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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