Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
