Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
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He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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