What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize