hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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