Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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