you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
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I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
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I think weed is turning my hair brown
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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