I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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