DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
