Cold hands, warm shart.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
