She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
