It's like God shit irony all over that family
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize