i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
