This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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