Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
