I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
