Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Text me some of your sweat
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
