drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
