i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
