So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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