he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
