Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
