Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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