If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
