I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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