My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
