Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
