I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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