batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
