How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
