Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
