Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
