She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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