Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
And then my night got REAL pukey
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
