They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
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Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
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Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god