her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
