Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."