Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
