I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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