im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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