You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
