when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
