Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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