I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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