Do vagina's smell?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
