apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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