Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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