Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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