i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
