quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
