Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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