Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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