Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she told me i tasted like america
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
