He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
