first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
