You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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