I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
