its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
